My dearest Annie, my sweet love,
I hope that wherever you are now that you are happy, surrounded by love, and able to run around and sniff everything to your heart’s content. How I will miss coming back home and hearing your unforgettable and inimitable bark, how it was always music to my ears. How I will miss you greeting me when I walked through the front door with you standing there so still, staring at me, with your tail wagging ever so slightly. How your gentle, silent grace always made me stop in my tracks, slowly approach you, press my nose in the small of your forehead and whisper to you, “Annie, my beauty. My beauty, Annie.” How I will miss letting you out at night and watching you lope across the threshold of the back door, and seeing you float back in, you always so eager to be inside with all of us. How I will miss picking you up and placing you gently into the car, and likewise taking you back out. How I will miss seeing your head pop up through the rearview mirror every time the car stopped – I knew you were always curious where we were going and eager to experience yet another thing with your new family. How I will miss preparing your complicated meals, cajoling you to come forth to your bowl, and watching you eat. How I will miss taking you to the rail trail and seeing you always so happy. How I will miss watching make a beeline for every culvert we passed – who knows what you were always looking for when that happened. How I will miss seeing you dive into the scrubby bush by the back patio sniffing for critters, and that I’d only see your cute butt sticking out and that adorable tail of yours wagging really fast. How I will miss you crouching down and barking when we put our shoes and socks on, which was your way of bellowing “Let’s go!” How I will miss the times we would play on the loverug together, I would get down on all fours, crouch down and bark at you – you’d then tense up, crouch down, look at me out of the corner of your eye and let out that wonderful bark of yours. I loved watching you spin around, body check Waylon (who loved you dearly), and I know you loved how our play sessions always ended. I’d ask you to lay down, and you’d roll on your side, and I would gently stroke you and we’d talk for a while. Those were my most special moments with you, Annie, those were our special, intimate moments together.
You are such an incredible being, Annie. Words hardly describe your power, your grace, the inner strength behind your placid demeanor. Many have noticed it. I feel blessed to have lived with it. You had such an incredible influence on us all and we will forever be affected by your loving being. I thank you for being so gracious and patient with Willow, and you are a major part of her young life. You were her “Oof.” You were so brave and trusting to come home with us, and I thank you for giving us a chance. I only hoped that we were able to love you to all the extent that you deserve. May you forgive us for the decision that we had to make on your behalf, that we released you from your extreme pain, having tried everything we could to make you better, but nothing did. It was the only thing that remained that we could do for you, to release you, release your soul from your broken body, so that you can be free again, free of all that pain, free to roam, free to explore. It was the hardest decision that we could possibly make and one that we will live with for the rest of our lives. Caring for you round-the-clock during your difficult and painful last days was not a burden at all, Annie. They were my finest hours with you. Please know that I only wish that I could have done more for you.
I hope that you are indeed reunited with loved ones in your past. I only wish we had more time with you, Annie. But the precious few months that we did have with you will be with me forever. I will never forget you, Annie. I am blessed that you allowed me to be your daddy for a while. I miss you terribly now, as I will for decades to come. Your mommy Bonnie and brother Waylon miss you terribly too. I know that there is a hole in their hearts, as is with mine, that may never mend since you are now gone from this world, from us. But it is a pain that is so easily soothed by just a mere remembrance of you. You were and are our light.
I hope to see you again when I cross over someday. I hope to press my nose into the small of your forehead and talk to you again, tell you how much I love you. Tell you again, “Annie, my beauty. My beauty, Annie.”
All my love, Annie. May you rest in peace.
Daddy Gong
March 28, 2008
PS – I hope that you and Juliette have much fun together. She likes ditches and culverts, too.