gongblog

Bookworms

Something that we've learned that completely warms our hearts is that Willow loves books. In fact, one of her very first wholly formed words is "booK" (with extra emphasis on the K sound, for some reason). We ask her if she wants to read a book, to go to her bookshelf and pick one out, and she does, always happily. She loves to go to bed with a pile of books in her crib, and we often see her wake up (well before we do)...reading her books. She reads to her herself out loud in the car (in her proto-language babble, so adorable). Willow loves books! Bonnie, her beautiful writer and consummate booklover mom, couldn't be happier.

On the road again

I am back in Chicago for another intense week at work, after not having travelled for a month. Being away, now that Willow and I are so interactive, is harder than ever. Here is this morning's video conference with my girls from my little dorm-style hotel room at Club Quarters on Wacker. It is typically cloudy and gloomy in Chicago today, and seeing the gorgeous Santa Fe morning light shine through our kitchen window makes me feel good. Willow and I played peek-a-boo. It's just astonishing the technology that Willow's generation has available to them. I really miss my family.

First American birthday party

Willow at the very first birthday party that she was invited to in the United States. We cannot ever know if she was ever at a kid's birthday party before when she was in China. The birthday fiesta was for Philly, a two year old that Willow knows through her FamJam music class on Saturdays. I am certain Willow has never seen kids wearing sombreros and the whole whacking the pinata was a new experience. She liked playing by herself in Philly's sandbox, eating refried beans with her hands, and in this photo marvelled at the birthday cake. Willow was the only Chinese kid at the party, which sure kicks up the predominant experience I had as a child. Although she looks a little nervous and unsure  in this picture, she really did have a good time. She went home with a balloon and some fun party favors.

IKEA Willow

Willow shopping at IKEA Austin.

IKEA girls

Willow and Bonnie in mini-POANG and big-POANG chairs.

Carport conversion

This just might become the site of my new studio. It is a detached carport that came with the new Stamm house we bought recently in Santa Fe. Willow and Waylon accompanied me today to take pictures and measurements. Willow gladly carried my notebook around so I didn't have to, bless her heart. Waylon peed on all the columns. They are now his columns.

Checking in on Maxie

Videoconferencing has become a way of life for me. Checking with Nam on work related stuff, but also able to see and talk to Maxie is just great.

Willow and Lulu

Willow finally got to meet her beautiful 7 month old cousin Lulu Clementine this week in Austin. These two are gonna be double trouble, that's for sure.

Two Brothers, Two Cousins

This is a very, very important photograph for me. It is was taken moments after Willow first met her Uncle Nam, Auntie Shirley, and her sweet beautiful cousin Lulu Clementine. It was the first time I met Lulu, the first time I saw my little brother Nam, whom I remember as a funny little kid nicknamed 'Bambi' like it was only yesterday, as a proud new father.

Maxie

A recent photo of Maxie, sent to me by my brother Nam and miu-miu-in-law Shirley. Maxie was recently diagnosed with lymphoma expressed by an inoperable tumor near her trachea attached to her skull. Maxie is undergoing chemotherapy now and we are all hoping for the best. We've now been through two cancer experiences with Jules and Annie, and I cannot tell you how much this makes me pause. I was there when Nam brought her home to our apartment on Front Street in Manhattan. She's 11 now, still a complete sweetheart, and I still love her as I did when she came into our lives. Be well, my sweet Maxie. I am thinking of you.

Bad news

While a colleague at work was shooting photographs around the office for our image library, she inadvertently caught me in a private moment on the phone with my brother Nam who had just learned that his dog Maxie's recently discovered tumor was inoperable.

Multi-tasking Daddy

Sometimes when Bonnie isn't feeling well in the afternoons, I look after Willow in my office. She has an entire playpen here full of my old non-working cellphones, Blackberrys, digital cameras, calculators, discarded computer keyboards, and sometimes my PC laptop (unplugged and turned off, of course). Get the pattern? She absolutely loves things that have buttons. When she gets bored playing with Daddy's gadget junkyard, she usually asks to crawl onto my lap, not because she wants to snuggle, but because she wants access to the Holy Grail of gadgets - Daddy's real WORKING Macintosh keyboard. So whatever I am working on I have to close and log into the special Willow account so she can bang on the keys to her hearts content without ruining my livelihood in the process. She also loves when I open the video camera preview, so she see herself doing whatever it is she is doing. Pictured here is a rare moment where she actually fell asleep in my lap, so I was able to finish a design deadline, take 2 work calls, and IM with about 4 colleagues while she was snoozing away. Multi-tasking Heaven.

W & W

After Annie's passing, Willow has been trying to engage Waylon a lot more. He was never quite that keen on interacting with her, leaving that responsibility to Annie. But now they are forced to figure out their relationship on their own terms. I think Willow genuinely loves Waylon; she seeks him out, knows his name when we refer to him, calls him, "Oof", offers him toys and food, always expresses joy after not seeing him for a period. Jury's out on how Waylon feels. Waylon, I know, carries the weight of so much loss in his life. He lost his brother (Willie) before we adopted him, he lost Jules, and now, Annie. Perhaps he doesn't want to get too close to anyone right now for fear of it happening again. We have to give him time.

Willow at Braemarr

From Bonnie's entry on Willow's blog (forestgirl.wordpress.com):

"While Gong and I did not have the opportunity for deep and silent reflection on that day given Willow’s presence, she (Willow) reminded me that gravesites do not have to be somber places as she played on a concrete bench, rubbed sticks together, and generally infused the place with her inimitable style of life."

Juliette and Annie's resting places at Braemarr

We buried Annie (the plot on the right) next to Juliette on March 28. Though they were not with us together, they are sisters, connected by their experiences with us. May the two loves of my life rest in peace, rest in love eternal.

Saying goodbye

Bonnie and Waylon paying their last respects to our beloved Annie at Braemarr, next to Juliette's plot. I built her casket by hand, using simple pine boards and lining the interior with her sheepskin rug and blankets. This task, as well as the one I built for Juliette, was indescribably painful. But it was the least I could do for two gentle beings who gave me more than I could ever hope to return. Waylon spiralled into a deep depression after the funeral. I've not seen that kind of sadness in a dog before.

Moments before

Annie, moments before she left us. Annie passed away from complications with bone cancer. She was 14.

Our great protector

Waylon is our 8 year old chocolate lab-pointer cross, whom we adopted in Taos when we first moved to New Mexico. He is a scrappy Taos dog (if you know Taos dogs, you know what I mean). He is probably the most loyal, dependable, family-focussed dog I've ever encountered, protective and vigilant. I rarely bring a leash with me on walks since he never allows himself to be more than 30 feet away from me at any time. He is remarkably intelligent, understanding most things we say to him, and he has always been an amazing communicator. He is pictured here laying across from Annie as she sleeps on her bed, the last weekend she was alive. He knew she was sick, he knew we were all utterly distraught over it, and he probably knew what the outcome was going to be. He never left her side.

Family Portrait, Winter 2008

This was taken by our good friend Rachel in January. It is the only family portrait that we have. Little did we know that everything was about to change for us in less than two months. Our newly formed human-canine family unit would suddenly shatter with Annie's death. Life is so fragile.

Out of options

First, we noticed a pronounced limp. Annie was already quite arthritic (spine and hips) but this limp was something new. Bonnie took her to see Dr. Hoshen, who had been giving Annie acupuncture treatments that seemed to be helping her. After a series of X-rays of Annie's right shoulder, Dr. Hoshen made a preliminary diagnosis of osteosarcoma. I remember calling Bonnie at the vet's office to see how things were going, and Bonnie was quiet. I knew this was bad, bad news. For the next several weeks, Annie underwent several stopgap treatments at the Veterinary Cancer Care clinic in Santa Fe, which included one round of chemotherapy, and many painkiller patches and pills. Since Annie's arthritis was so bad, she was not a candidate for amputation. Osteosarcoma is a cancer within the bone that begins in the marrow and works its way out, weakening the structural walls of the bone. You can't imagine how painful it is. One late evening when we saw that Annie could barely get up by herself, I took her to the emergency clinic where they did another round of X-rays. The findings confirmed my greatest fear - the site of the osteosarcoma had been so weakened that her shoulder bone had all but shattered. Medical parlance calls this a "pathological fracture", meaning that no matter what treatments medical science availed to us, the fracture would never ever heal. We had just run out of options for our dear Annie. It was a dark, dark hour.

M.C. W

Whenever Willow wears a pair of her pants on her head she looks very Grandmaster Funky. Don't look at me, I didn't do it.

Sleep Warrior

They say babies come in only two flavors: sleepers and eaters. You can have one or the other, but never both. Willow is an eater, but not a sleeper. She fights and fights, each nap time a battle of epic proportions. While Bonnie and I are generally too exhausted or stressed by the struggle each time, upon reflection I think Willow just prefers to be awake. Too much to do, touch, manipulate, taste, to figure out in her new world. Too much to interact with, too little time. Sleep just gets in the way.

Early steps

Willow is developmentally on track. Like most kids, she wants independence and mobility. Here is a still from a video shot of Willow setting the record of (that) day of 5 steps on her own.

Pirate Dash Flying

Dash is an ebullient 5 year old who is Willow's great friend. Dash treats her like a little sister in the most caring and gentle of ways. Here we are taking a long walk on the Rail Trail outside Santa Fe, where I was able to capture Dash in mid-air as he kept running off into the distance.

Willow and Dash

Willow's first American buddy is 5 year old Dash, who is the son of Lizzie and Jon, friends we've only recently made and hope to keep forever.

Early bonds

Willow and Annie developed a strong bond nearly immediately. We were just awestruck at how patient Annie was with Willow, putting up with her steady stream of pets, grabs, nuzzles, hugs, and using her as a canine divan. It was a developing relationship that I could only behold from a distance. This was Annie loving Willow and Willow loving Annie all by themselves.

Trouble

Since the day we met Willow and for weeks after we brought her back home to her new home in New Mexico, she did not want to have anything to do with me. I could not go near her without her pushing me away, and she refused to make eye contact with me. As a result, I was having a really hard time emotionally dealing with her constant rejections. It made it especially hard for Bonnie since she had to shoulder EVERYTHING by herself. I was just reduced to a gopher and sherpa, not even a proto-father. I was then diagnosed with clinical depression by a top psychiatrist in Santa Fe, and was prescribed Emsam, a monoamine oxidase inhibitor. I had never been on anti-depressants before, and I was pretty anxious and scared about what it would do to me.

Willow and the doggies

This was taken the morning we brought Waylon and Annie back from being in dog care for over 3 weeks while we were in China. They were as curious about Willow as she was of them, neither knowing quite what to do with one another. It was an important, albeit tense moment in the evolution of our little family.

Back to the USA, baby

Willow on our flight to Los Angeles. She fussed a few times, but it really wasn't bad. She liked pressing all the buttons on the video remote. It was our second flight with her, the first from Wuhan to Guangzhou being really hard because she screamed the whole way, probably never experiencing air pressure changes in her ears like that. She is such a brave kid. It's really hard to fathom the magnitude of it all. So much change for someone so little.

Papers, papers

An adoption is, if anything, a big paper trail. Here are some images of Willow's Chinese passport and official Chinese adoption documents. We would be chasing the American side of the equation for weeks to come.

Commotion in Wuhan

Bonnie and Willow causing quite a stir in downtown Wuhan.